I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize