I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize