hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize