You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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