Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
