It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
