If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
