I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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