In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
