You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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