i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You smell like a Billy Joel song
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
