She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
