i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
