this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Sorry about my life...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
