when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
