i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
