I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
