It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
