Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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