Kiss
Puke
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
