and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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