I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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