I'm sorry my penis didn't work
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
