Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
