In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
