Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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