How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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