Do you still have your period?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
