So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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