I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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