Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
