Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
