That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
His nipple licking is glorious
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