"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
