So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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