Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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