I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
