My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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