"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
