Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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