So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
