The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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