mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
