her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize