I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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