in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize