hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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