yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
