Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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