Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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