since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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