Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize