he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
