Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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