So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize