No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I've blown a few things in my day
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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