JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
