I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
