yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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