Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize