forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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