Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
