our cab driver is having phone sex.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
