im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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