biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
PS: I just woke up from my shower
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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