Betty ford says i'm here all night
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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