Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
